Do you feel stuck in your world of cancer? I used to.
In my author biography, I now usually list myself as a writer, mommy, yogini, daughter, editor, sister, and napper extraordinaire. Notice how I skipped over that I’m in remission from leukemia? I’m not lying by omission, it’s just not a big deal to who I am because I’ve moved beyond cancer as my identity. And you can, too.
You have cancer. I have cancer. We all have cancer—it’s a scientific fact.
Turns out human bodies harbor traces of cancerous cells from birth until death. Usually, your fabulous body keeps these aberrant cells in check. One day, though, some cancer sneaks under the radar, grows in a hidden corner, seemingly just past your body’s peripheral vision…
Your smooth, perfect-bound book of life suddenly has an enormous crack in its spine. This tear is the moment you receive the cancer diagnosis. The doctor explains details about your cancer, yet you are lost in emotion. You may catch a few words or phrases; probably, the doctor sounds like the teacher in Peanuts cartoons—muffled, incoherent, distant, and off-screen. You realize your life is about to change forever. I call this dramatic pause the Before and After.
Everyone has a different diagnosis story (see sidebar 1.1). But you already know all about the Big C. I do, too.
On February 10, 2011, I transformed from a happy, healthy wife and working mom to a terminal cancer patient. The hematology-oncologist told me over the phone I had a rare and aggressive form of leukemia called Philadelphia chromosome positive acute lymphoblastic leukemia (or Ph+ALL). Without immediate treatment, the cancer would kill me in weeks. And so I endured grueling chemotherapy and radiation as well as a stem-cell transplant to stay alive. But you’ve gone through (or are living with) your own ordeal with cancer. Take time right now to reflect on your cancer diagnosis moment…
Maybe your life up to that point flashed before your eyes. Or perhaps you considered your own mortality for the first time. Whatever your reaction to the cancer news, slow down your thoughts and emotions enough so your mind and heartbeat are not racing. Take a few long, deep breaths, engaging your parasympathetic nervous system (see sidebar 1.2). Now step back to gain perspective on the life-altering information.
Tell yourself about your diagnosis story. Find a creative way to express yourself. I chose to write during and after my cancer diagnosis and treatments, which became my published memoir, Every Breath Is a Gift: Reflections on My Leukemia Journey. Maybe you also want to put pen to paper. If that doesn’t suit you, perhaps silently say a prayer, make up a blues song and belt it out, grab your kid’s crayon and doodle the details, or take some old plates outside and (goggles on—safety first!) smash them to smithereens against a wall to the rhythm of your breath.
However you get the moment out of your system, be sure you commemorate your bravery. Place a shard from the broken plates or a recording of your song or whatever it may be in a special box on a shelf for safekeeping.
You now know my diagnosis story and have a clear remembrance of your own. Time to get you unstuck.
But how? At times, you may feel you’ve got a giant red “C” tattooed on your forehead with the way everyone reacts to you only as someone with cancer. Such thinking becomes so ingrained in your psyche, you begin to treat yourself as just a blob of cancerous cells.
With this volume, you will come to understand the three main tenets I recommend to move beyond your cancer identity: rest, relax, and renew. Think of this book as a sort of friendly primer for understanding your multifaceted self as well as how you interact with others and the world. You will learn how to remove the prism of cancer from your vision and get back to living life.
I am so pleased you and I are no longer strangers. Introductions are done.
Sidebar 1.1: Richard’s diagnosis story
TK
Sidebar 1.2: The parasympathetic nervous system
Unlike the sympathetic nervous system with its fight-or-flight reactions, our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) smoothes out the ruffled feathers. It controls homeostasis, a tendency toward a stable state of equilibrium between the different but interdependent elements of an organism. Engaging the PNS leads to positive feelings, which reduce stress, enhance positive emotion, and strengthen the body’s immune system. The PNS is a vital component of resting the body, relaxing the mind, and renewing the spirit.